The Best Food for the Munchies
So. You’ve got the munchies. Don’t worry, it happens to all of us, sometimes pretty often. Enjoying the delicious taste of food is one of the great pleasures of being high. After choosing the cannabis strain you want, the only problem is deciding what to eat, and Pot Mates is here to help you out. To start with, let’s talk a little bit about the four food groups to get you good and hungry, then we’ll finish off with a list of the top ten best foods to eat when you have the munchies.
The Four Real Food Groups
We’re not talking about the Food Pyramid or MyPlate—although those are great for ensuring a balanced diet,—this is something much more important. We’re talking about engaging all of your senses for a rich culinary experience. Everything tastes better after imbibing a little, and the most appealing tastes and textures fall into four distinct groups that complement each other beautifully when combined.
Candy, chocolate, pies, cakes, and ice cream are examples of sweet foods you might find irresistible, and they are delicious! These foods are good to purchase or prepare in advance so you don’t end up going overboard and buying that 1 LB bag of Twizzlers to devour in a single sitting or trying to make cookies when all you have are butter and baking soda. You’re not going to feel great about your choices the next day if you don’t plan ahead. Better yet, maintain a munchie stash and you never have to worry about going without. Stick to the snack sizes and you’ll be all right.
Mmmm…pizza, Funyuns, Doritos, Chex Mix…salty foods are a cornerstone of the four food groups because salt makes everything taste better. And since cannabis already makes everything taste better, that’s like exponentially tastier food! Salty foods are also the easiest to overdo, however, because the taste of salt actually makes it harder to stop eating. Just like with sweet foods, try to manage your portion sizes in advance to avoid the adverse health effects of eating too much salt. “Family size” is not meant as a challenge.
“Wait!” you’re probably thinking, “chewy isn’t a taste!” And you’re right, (as usual), but chewing itself is an enjoyable sensation. It’s like exercise for your mouth, and one of the few, I not only, exercise trends we can stand behind. And chewing will help your salivary glands counteract the dry-mouth endemic to most strains. Lean into it with some sugarless gum, Twizzlers, gummy bears, or Rice Krispies treats. It turns out most things that are chewy are also sweet. Kinda weird now that we think about it.
The fourth and final food group is all about balancing out all of that chewing. Sometimes you just want to snap into something, and that’s where your crunchy foods come in. Think potato chips, crackers, popcorn, even carrots and celery if you are feeling adventurous. Their satisfying crispiness will be a welcome reprieve after all of that endless chewing. Yeah, that’s weird, crunchy things are mostly salty.
If you still can’t decide what to eat, here are our picks for the top ten foods to eat when you’ve got the munchies. In no particular order, except by numbers, maybe we didn’t need to do that.
10. Ice Cream
If you want something cool, sweet, and refreshing, there’s nothing better than your favorite ice cream or frozen yogurt. We recommend limiting yourself to a half pint at a time, otherwise you may eat a whole carton of ice cream and just hate yourself in the morning. A lot of flavors come with bonus candy or fruit mixed in, but you can also add your own toppings by picking up a bag of candy, crushed nuts, or some chocolate sauce.
Of course, you’re not limited to what’s in the freezer. In Portland, you have some excellent ice cream parlors to choose from, such as Salt & Straw, Eb & Bean, Cool Moon, and Cloud City and you can even get orders to go!
9. Cheese Crackers
These snacks are crunchy, salty, and have a touch of that cheese flavor you just can’t get enough of. Cheese flavored anything gets all smooth and buttery and creamy as you eat them. Ah, man. Cheddar Baked Lays. Gah! (they don’t pay us we just love them.) Whether you’re munching on Goldfish, Cheese-Its, or Better Cheddars, cheese crackers present a fantastic combination of flavor and texture. Pair with water or juice to stave off the inevitable dry-mouth. And, as always, remember, “Family Size” is not meant as a challenge.
8. Macaroni and Cheese
Speaking of smooth, buttery, and creamy! Macaroni and cheese combines so many of the four food groups. It’s chewy and salty and hot and a little sweet. It is mostly made of cheese if you do it right. Quick and simple to make, macaroni and cheese is a childhood favorite that you can still enjoy as a self-respecting grown up adult. If you cook it yourself, you can add bacon (crunchy), sausage, cut up hot dogs, or tuna to enrich the flavor and be a real chef. Throw some chicken nuggets (bonus food!) in the oven before you start cooking and you’ll have a meal!
Don’t want to make it yourself? We don’t blame you! You are a grown up adult and don’t have to cook if you don’t want to. Check out Herb’s Mac & Cheese or PDX Mac and Cheese Bar for the best macaroni and cheese dishes in Portland.
These are harder to make yourself unless you have a donut pan, but no one can deny their deliciousness. Most stores have little boxes of breakfast donuts or bags full of tiny donettes for only a couple of dollars! If you want to get fancy, Portland plays host to a number of gourmet donut shops like Blue Star or Pip’s Original Donuts and Chai. Voodoo Doughnut even has a Rapper’s Delight special which consists of three donuts for $4.20! Trying to go vegan? Check out Doe Donuts, you’ll be pleasantly surprised!
Pro tip, donuts are better hot. Bake them for like a couple of minutes and put some of that ice cream on top. The donut soaks up some of the melted ice cream and keeps you from getting brain freeze.
This classic salty snack comes in chewy and crunchy varieties. You can buy (or bake) sourdough pretzels with big flavor crystals of salt and dipping sauce, or pick up a package of crunchy pretzels at the grocery store. Dip them in honey mustard, ranch dressing, or even melted chocolate to add more flavor! Bread is so good, and pretzels make one of the best bread-based snacks. They have this earthy, yeasty smell and taste that you can’t really get anywhere else. We know these pretzels are going to make you thirsty, so bring some drink.
Not technically “food,” but it goes great with just about everything and should be a new category of the food pyramid. You can spread it on a bagel or a slice of bread, dip your favorite foods into it (pretzels, anyone?) or even just stick your finger in and eat it straight out of the jar. Don’t eat too much though, this cocoa hazelnut spread is loaded with sugar, and a little goes a long way.
We didn’t want to like these because their name is so on-the-nose, but Munchies may well be the most delicious crunchy/salty snack out there. Each bag consists of a mixture of chips, pretzels, and Cheetos, in a variety of flavors from cheesy to spicy to ranch. So pretty much take a bunch of stuff on our list and put them together is what we are saying. They are scientifically engineered to be good for, well, munchies. Of course, you could also make your own by buying your own favorite snacks and mixing them together, but having it already put together in one convenient bag is almost too good to be true. (They also don’t pay us)
3. Crudités (/ˌkro͞odəˈtā/)
We bet you weren’t expecting us to use fancy words on this list. We’re fancy. Crudités just means assorted raw vegetables. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it! After all of that sugar and salt, nothing is more refreshing than a colorful platter of sliced raw vegetables. (We’re not kidding stop looking at us like that!) They are cooling and hydrating and when you are thirsty AND hungry that’s what vegetables are. They are crunchy water you can dip in sauce. Favorites include bell peppers, carrots, celery, and cucumbers, and they can help you fight dry mouth while simultaneously filling you up. If you don’t think these vegetables have enough flavor on their own, you can always augment them with peanut butter, ranch dressing, cream cheese, caramel sauce, or your favorite dip, which is Nutella.
2. Cookies (Any Kind)
Cookies are technically bread. You can bake them from scratch with chocolate chips, oatmeal, or raisins, or buy those cookie dough packages you see in the store to have them ready-to-bake at a moment’s notice. This is the recommended method. Fresh baked cookies are the best! Cookies can literally have all four of our food groups. Crunchy on the outside, chewy and gooey on the inside, packed full of sweet, delicious sugar, but enough butter and salt to keep you going. Some places, like the Cookie Dough Café offer cookie dough desserts that are specially made to be consumed safely without being baked. Well, you should be baked, be forewarned—their portions can be deceptively large.
Sometimes chewy, sometimes crunchy, but always savory and delicious, pizza has been a staple pairing with cannabis ever since it was invented. Take some bread, bury it in sauce and cheese and whatever’s clever for toppings. The crust is buttery and crunchy, the top cheesy and chewy and melty. You can make it yourself in less time than it takes to wait for delivery, pick up a couple of frozen pies from the store, or order in from any number of reputable pizza spots around town. We like to support our local businesses like Hot Lips, Pizzicato, and Sizzle Pie, but there’s nothing wrong with ordering a little Domino’s or Pizza Hut if the craving strikes. We’ve heard that any pizza is a personal pizza with enough dedication.
If you enjoyed reading that, or just have a lot of time on your hands, check out our article on popular cannabis slang origins. Shocking? We don’t know.